Part of being a great hostess is keeping your guests entertained and stimulated.  A great way to do that is with a game that either stimulates the brain or gives you insight into your fellow guests.

I recently was at a fantastic baby shower where after the main part of the shower we played the board game Encore.  It is so much fun.  The main point of the game is to form teams and be able to sing at least eight (or six) words of a song with a particular word in it.  You go back and forth until a team can’t think of any more songs with that word.  Normally people are a little nervous about singing, but once they get started other players join along and it really isn’t about how good you can sing, it’s about the lyrics you can remember!  I really think you could even play this game without a board, but it makes it a bit easier.  When the word “love” was up I was very glad I had such a strong love affair with everything Beatles for years when I was younger.

Then we were up at Autumn Glory in a rental house.  I am sure if we looked around there would have been a board game, instead we played a game similar to Apples to Apples without the board.  It was super easy to do just on a whim.  First we thought up a list of category/questions e.g. What shouldn’t you say to a cop? OR What’s your favorite Disney Movie?  Each turn there is a reader, who doesn’t play that round.  We let them think up the category/question after the first few practice rounds.  You then write down your answer.  Then the reader collects the answers from people and reads them aloud twice.  Then the participants clockwise from the reader try to guess whose answer matches who.  The reader doesn’t re-read the answers until the turn comes back past them after one round.  If you guess someone’s answer they are out for that turn, and you get to guess again.  If you guess incorrectly your turn is done if and until it comes back around and the reader has reread the remaining answers.  People try to set up other people or just have outrageous answers and it is pretty funny.  You get one point for every answer you get correct on your turn and five points goes to the person who wins the round.  It is great because you really learn a lot about your guests.  And you just need some paper and pencils.

Neither game is overly competitive, and it is a great laugh so it keeps the mood light.  And remember when playing games it normally is best not to put couples as team because that can cause tension, and guests don’t have the opportunity to get to know other people.  Hubby and I were so happy to have such fun occasions to be able to relax and play games and laugh with our friends.  We are so busy right now I think it’s going to be a while until we get that kind of time again and it’s just so fun.

Tonight I received the nicest thank you note from my Father-in-Law.  It was simple, genuine and well written.  I too sat down this week to write thank you notes.  Some notes were written for the lovely birthday gifts I received from friends, some notes were written for people who have graciously hosted me recently and then I was on a roll and wrote a few notes just to catch up with some people.

I think sending someone mail is perhaps one of the most time honored traditions we have.  Sure e-mail is fast and easy, but isn’t that what makes getting real mail so special?  I especially believe in thank you notes.  I try to be very diligent about my thank you notes because I am just blessed with a lot of people I really care about and I want them to know how much I value their relationship to me.  I write notes for presents, kind gestures, hosting, dog sitting, etc.  It only takes a moment and you feel so good doiIf you don’t currently write thank you notes, you should really consider it.  I think writing thank you notes builds and maintains relationships in ways many people just don’t realize.  And not writing notes is a big faux pas in many cultures, especially Southern culture.

Writing thank you notes are so simple, you just need to follow some simple rules:

1. There should be a greeting:  Dear Aunt Hilda, Hello Grandma, My Dear Nephew Ned, Greetings Sue, something simple, not too flippant.

2. A line saying thank you for the item you received or gracious hosting.

3. A line saying how you have used the item or plan to use it, or something nice about the stay: I just bought some roses that look so nice in the vase, I am planning to wear the necklace this weekend for a date with Hubby, the candles smell so good when I burn them my whole house smells like gardenia, the sheets on your guest bed are so soft, I slept so well!

4. One to two lines of small talk: I hope I can host you next time you are in Washington, you would love the orchid exhibits, I am looking forward to seeing you at Thanksgiving, last year your grace was so touching, I hope you are having good weather, I have fond memories of your lovely garden.

5. Salutation: Best Wishes, Thinking of You, Sincerely, Love, Best Regards.

6. Postage.

I normally pick up thank you notes when I see them on sale, normally TJ Maxx, Marshalls or Home Goods have very nice little cards.  I don’t like big cards because I feel I need to fill them up with writing and sometimes if I have just seen someone I don’t have as much to say.  I also have some really cute Bichon notes for Max specific thank you notes.

I like notes that do not have any wording so I can use them for a variety of occasions, like these:

Bright Flowers

Fish notes

Of course if you want to be a real badass then you need some cool custom stationary like this:

Readers,

I have been traveling all over the place.  That means a lot of sheets.  I wanted to pass along this tip:

Nice sheets.  It is amazing to me how many people sleep on miserable sheets.  For me they have to be cotton, just cotton.  And not jersey cotton which get really hot.  And don’t waste your time on anything under 300 thread count.  I like thicker sheets with higher thread counts as they stay cooler at night.  I don’t sleep well when I am hot.

Now you are thinking that this means a lot of big bucks, but there are some places to get great sheets for not a lot of money.  I highly suggest HomeGoods and Tuesday Morning.  A good package of sheets can be nabbed for $50 if you are discerning.  Before buying open them up and feel the texture and thickness before buying them.  They are definitely worth the investment for your and the guest bed, as good quality sheets will last longer in the long run.  Plus let’s face it, you can get someone between your sheets (guest bed or your own) easier if there are nice sheets on it.

Feeling more spendy?  Get some Egyptian cotton.

I don’t like buying sheets online as I am picky about fabrics and like to feel them first, although you can get some good deals on nice sheets at overstock.com too.

It is the abundance of small touches that we notice in any experience.  And really that is what good hostessing is all about.  Small touches that make someone’s experience just slightly better.  Many are really easy.  For example homemade salad dressing.  It tastes much better than what you can buy in the store and is extremely simple.

Here is the basic recipe for balsamic dressing:

3 Tbsp. balsamic vinegar

2 Tbsp. lemon juice

1 Tbsp. dijon mustard

2 garlic cloves minced

1/2 cup olive oil

You mix the first four ingredients together then slowly wisk in the olive oil, taste and modify.  The great thing is that this is just the base.  You can add in orange zest, ginger, salt and pepper, basil, thyme, oregano, honey or whatever fits your fancy.  I normally mix the base recipe.  Taste, then season with salt and pepper as necessary then add 1/2 tsp. of any desired ingredient.  I really like adding in fresh herbs just to make it smell and taste extremely fresh.  Just be careful if you use honey to balance it out with a citrus acid component in the dressing or in the salad itself (like mandarin oranges).

I really love blue cheese and this dressing is my favorite because it uses yogurt in place of sour cream and has more tang:

1/2 cup plain whole-milk yogurt

1/2 cup mayonnaise

1 tablespoon white wine vinegar

1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

1/4 teaspoon granulated sugar

1/2 cup crumbled blue cheese

Dash Worcestershire sauce (optional)

In a small mixing bowl, stir together the yogurt and mayonnaise until smooth. Mix in the vinegar, salt, and sugar, and season well with freshly ground black pepper.  Stir in the blue cheese and Worcestershire sauce (if using), and refrigerate until ready to serve.  I am kind of a Worcestershire sauce addict, so I always use it.

You can find all sorts of great recipes for salad dressings.  The best thing to mix them in a mason jar or something you can put a lid on for future use.  Guests are amazed at how good they taste and it really doesn’t take a lot of time or effort.  I recently had a dinner party with gourmet pizza from a place nearby and a spinach salad with homemade balsamic dressing and oranges and almonds, it was wonderful.  My friends were extremely happy, and it took me minutes to prepare.   And for me if a salad has good dressing and unique ingredients, I don’t find myself at all disappointed in eating “just a salad.”

Sometimes I find buying big huge pieces of meat in the grocery store a bit daunting, especially when there is only Hubby and I to eat it all.

But you can get some wonderful deals on whole tenderloin, ham, chicken, and etc from time to time.  Right now bone in cooked hams are on sale in many places.  So here are some ideas on how to use a whole ham in a relatively healthy and tasty way:

First- cut your ham into manageable sections, leaving the ham hock with a bit of meat, not large sections because you want to be able to thaw and use a piece completely.

First night: Ham, butternut squash and green bean saute.  This is a quick fix because well after breaking down a ham you don’t want to linger hours over a soup, but want something filling.  Either start cooking your rice out ahead of time or cheat and use instant rice.  I suggest brown or wild rice.  Set your over to 350 degrees.  Cut half a peeled medium butternut squash into about 1/2″ cubes,roughly slice/chop a shallot put them in a roasting pan with about 1 tablespoon of olive oil and sprinkle with 1 teaspoon dried thyme, 1 teaspoon parsley and salt, pepper and mix pieces to coat. Roast about 20 minutes.  While that is roasting cube about 1 1/2 cups of ham into 1″ cubes (Cut about 1 cup extra for future use).  Then snap and cut about 1/2 cup of green beans into 1″ segments.  Remove the roasting pan and add the ham and green beans and stir the mixture.  Roast about 10 more minutes.  Remove and add your rice (however cooked) right to the roasting pot, add about 1 tablespoon of butter and mix gently.  Then serve.

Then slice some ham for sandwiches.  Refridgerate your ham hock and sandwich meat.  Wrap the remaining meat in butcher paper and freeze for a time that you won’t be sick of… ham.

Next day: Ham and swiss panini with mustard, mayo and bread and butter pickles, a faux cuban if you will.  If you don’t have a panini maker at work you could use a toaster oven to melt your cheese for the desired goodness.

Next evening: Ham Hock White Bean Cabbage Soup, well it’s more like a stew really.  Put the ham hock in a large stock pot with about 3 pints of water, bring to a boil then down to a simmer for an hour.  Use that time to dice 3 potatoes, 3 cups of cabbage, half a cooking onion and 3 cloves of garlic and drain and rinse a can of cannelli beans.  Add those to the pot with 1 large bay leaf, 2-3 tablespoons dried parsley and 1 tablespoon dried thyme and let simmer for about 20 minutes.  Let simmer for about 5 minutes and remove the ham hock let it cool and shred the meat to add back to the pot.  Add a couple dashes of Old Bay to the pot.  Then remove the bay leaf and serve.  It is excellent with a few dashes of Old Bay.

Next day or two if you are full of ham.  It is time for a ham and brie sandwich on pretzel roll.  I first discovered this sandwich at the Greenbrier and have loved it ever since.  Put some spicy grainy mustard on it to cut the richness and enjoy.

Then use your left over dice to make breakfast with a ham, cheddar and jalapeno (or spinach or mushroom with swiss) scramble.

That should do quite well for about half or more of your ham.  I suggest waiting a little while before using the rest.

With New Year’s Eve upon us and lots of party planning going on, I thought I might offer the following suggestion for those of us who have leftover piles of snow nearby:

Festive All Natural Beer Cooling.  It actually doesn’t melt as quickly as ice, and it looks so much better don’t you think?  Just make sure you get some snow from the middle of the pile to avoid dirt and umm, etc.

After a weekend of volunteering for the Campagna Center’s Scottish Christmas festivities it got me in the mood to decorate for Christmas.

Normally Hubby and I get a real tree, but this year we are going sans tree because of how busy our schedule has turned out to be.  And the Momma who normally helps me decorate is away this week in Barbados.  So here is a simple guide for decorating a condo for Christmas.

If you get a tree, I really recommend a live tree.  They are a bit of a pain in the butt, but they look and smell so nice.  Try to get a fresh tree.  I prefer Douglas fir or Frasier firs.  Make sure when the tree is cut that you give it lots and lots of water until the sap seals the tree.  When putting the Christmas tree stand down.  First put a plastic bag or something to keep any water off your floor.  Next I like to place a little padding to keep the stand from scratching the floors, like a rag rug or old towel.  Then the stand goes down.  If you have a big tree I suggest securing it to the wall with fishing line or nylon line.  Let the tree fall for a good day or so before decorating.  I really recommend the new LED lights because they are so much less of a fire hazard and use a lot less energy.

It can be as much or as little as you like.  My Mom gets a table top tree from Whole Foods and they are really cute for a small place. And if you like color try finding a foil tree with a color wheel.

I have a wreath that I really liked a few years ago, but  now it is looking a bit shabby.  So I secured a new ribbon on it, and adorned it with gold stars.  You can always buy a plain wreath and glue or use wire to secure ornaments or adornments to make it special. Often you can spruce up old wreaths with new decorations or inserting some flowers.

Make a focal point in your main room.  For us it normally is the fireplace in the living room which is open to the dining area and kitchen.  We normally line it with boxwood or greenery from  Meadows Farms or Cox Farms, that we then wrap garland around.  Hang the stockings, put some Christmas items on the mantle, maybe some big poinsettas and voila.  Since our place is relatively small and cohesive, I try to continue the same theme of color throughout the house.  This year it is green, red and gold.

Make sure to put some holiday touches in each other room, I like putting poupouri that smells like Christmas trees around because I love that scent.  My nutcracker collection and other Christmas items get placed.  I like to hang wreaths in the windows with battery candles below.  My favorite wreaths are grapevine ones that you can add ornaments, parts of Christmas cards or other special memories.  Maybe a few poinsettias because I love fresh flowers in the house.

Then the table gets dressed.  If you are having people over, I recommend getting or making a nice Christmas flower arrangement for the table because it really sets the look off.  If you are buying one, make sure to go to a good independent florist and make sure it matches your design and theme.  I often specify the flowers and colors to be used.  If you want something minimal and elegant you might have to choose your florist carefully.  I really like Blue Iris on Capitol Hill.

But a nice hurricane or a large bowl, with ornaments or holly would go over nicely as a centerpiece too. I think fully dressed tables just look beautiful in a home if you are having people over for a meal.  If you need help with correct table setting here you go, but remember you can get creative.

Don’t be afraid to remove wall art temporarily for a switch to something festive.

Need more ideas?  Check out open houses at Florists or Garden centers nearby or take a hint from the Master- here is a link to the Martha Stewart Christmas Gallery.

So my L.A. friend is tasked with a sustainable Christmas.  You know recycle, reuse, repurpose.

I have lots of books I have read that I could pass on, or jewelry from Grandma (all those clip earrings I don’t wear).  I have made spiced nuts in the past or cookies.  I have given presents of cleaning and organizing closets.  Unfortunately sometimes, especially when you are moving around a lot for school or just starting out, you don’t have a lot of things or time.  But don’t worry you can still find some cool sustainable finds:

Decking the Halls

Recycled Paper Garland- what a neat and colorful Christmas decoration.  My family always had particular garlands that we used around greenery and this one would look great with all the colorful nutcrackers I hang on my garland.  Available on Etsy, here.

I love making beaded jewelry for people at Christmas.  One of my favorite necklaces is made from paper beads that my stepsisters made.  Paper Beads is a great blog for learning to make paper beads, and then using the paper beads for different uses.  Below are Paper Bead Ornaments you can make with instructions on the Paper Beads Blog, such a neat creative site, definitely check it out! If you aren’t up for making them yourself, you can already buy ready made ones at another great Etsy site here- upcycling paper and reusing it, very sustainable, while supporting small artists.

Upcycled Gifts

Beer has always been a treasured thing.  But perhaps not all those empty beer bottles.  Luckily now many of them are recycled, but here is another cool use- drinking glasses.  Unlike the above beads, I suggest not trying to make this at home, but check out this Etsy Shop with many different beer bottles to choose from.

Need a more flowery find?  I absolutely love the jewelry made from old spoons.  The details that went into old silver spoons are just incredible.  This ring is beautiful and a bargain.  I don’t know why I am even posting this, now it will be sold in no time.  Luckily this artist has lots of neat spoons to continue making really neat things.

Recycle that Wrap

My brother in law wraps his Christmas presents in Newspaper, my brother wraps his in Trader Joe bags.  Both are great ways to save paper, and then that paper is of the type that is normally recyclable too.  I save my ribbon all year long to use again at Christmas.  Another great embellishment is to stamp them with a cool Christmas stamp.  Since we don’t get daily papers I steal them from recycling downstairs where they stack them in big piles.

Plan the Party

Here in Virginia there is a lot of wine to love, and how better to show off the benefits of staying sustainable than practicing what you preach.  Keep your party hopping with local wine, and keep it fresh with beautiful, unique bottle stoppers;  I like this one made from recycled materials.  Find it here.

Dress up your sweet treats with these vintage reusable cupcake toppers!  You could also use them as reusable toothpicks.  Just make sure you have a small basket for them to be discarded in, so you can wash them and reuse.

If you live out in the country you can even buy a Christmas tree with the roots and plant it afterwards.  My friend Suz’s family did that one year.

So even if you feel the need to buy gifts try to buy local, buy recycled goods or buy things that you can turn into something neat.  I turn to Etsy because I like their artists, but a quick search and you can find other places with recycled goods.  But don’t forget your own merits.  You don’t have to be a jeweler or baker, give someone some hours of your computer skills, or teach them a skill you have they might enjoy.  Giving someone your time and company is always the best gift.

Well readers there are only a handful more days until Thanksgiving.  I love Thanksgiving, probably because I grew up in a family of superb cooks.  They brine the turkey, the gravy is off the hook, green beans are from the can- which they canned a couple months ago and they are not topped with any crunchy casserole things.  I dream about the food produced at my house for Thanksgiving.  But this year will be the first year that I spend the whole entire holiday with Hubby’s parents, which is all fine and good, except it is really hard for me not to cook so much of the meal.

In my family cooking is a group ordeal, except for putting the turkey in the oven, which my Aunt always does because my Mother and I just don’t get up that early.  This year I already have four pies baked.  One pumpkin custard and one pecan will go to my friend Warren’s house.  I made them pie one year because I had an extra pie crust and well pecan pie is so easy and now it has become tradition.  They would probably let me come over and cook their whole entire meal if I gave them the option, but no Warren it isn’t an option, sorry.  But to fulfill my need to cook I decided I would give you readers some good tips:

1. Giada’s Ciabata Pancetta recipe is really good.  I make it without the garlic.  This is wonderful stuffing that has  a very savory and satisfying taste, a little crunch, some crispy pancetta, but your normal savory and tender flavors of carrot and celery.  I just love it.

2. When making mashed potatoes use evaporated milk instead of fresh milk.  And let the butter sit a bit at room temperature before using it.  You will use a lot of butter and salt to make good mashed potatoes, and you know what it’s Thanksgiving so go for it.  This is a go big or go home day.  (My Mother is probably appalled that I am giving you all this secret, but sorry Mom they won’t get our pie recipes)

3.  The secret to good gravy is a good turkey, brine the thing and cook it well with butter and herbs under the skin, don’t pull it out too early and save all those pan juices.  Then roux it up! Make sure you sift your flour so there are no lumps and whisk, whisk, whisk.

4. Buy the cranberries in the bag and make the recipe on the bag.  My Uncle insists on canned gelatin cranberry sauce, which doesn’t taste like real cranberries at all, and I just don’t think it is right.  Perhaps he doesn’t like very tart things?  But I really think the real deal is very good, it has nice texture and flavor that bursts into your mouth with a fresh tangy taste. My Father in Law makes a cranberry, tangerine jello mold that is actually one of the highlights of the meal for me, it has a low jello ratio and is baked with fresh fruit.

5. Make homemade pies.  They aren’t very complicated (you can buy the crust if you want), but store bought pie is so lackluster.

6. Make sure your smoke alarm works.  (Just in case.  And on this note- if you are one of the idiots who deep fry your turkey inside, look up how many houses catch on fire that way and move it outside you lazy ahem (beeeeeeeps))

7. Yeast rolls.  I highly recommend if you can’t make rolls yourself to get them from a good bakery, not the grocery store.  Great Harvest Bread Co.  makes really good North Carolina yeast rolls that remind me of home (they call them old fashioned white at the Vienna store), I think all locations are a bit different so I am not sure if your local one will have it, but hopefully so.  Well not my house, but a great restaurant at home that I can still close my eyes and dream of how their rolls tasted.  Nowadays my family normally had my Amish Nanny make us some pumpkin rolls.  Mom used to make these herself, but now with all the traveling and etc it just doesn’t normally happen.

8.  If you can get your hands on real butter, use real butter.  I have a big block a family member made me that I have been using and it really makes such a difference.

9. And last surround yourself with people you love- whether they are family, friends or people who need a companion and some cheer for the day.

10. Lastly when you can stand those people anymore, you can get a lot of online Christmas shopping done and get many of the same deals as black Friday in the stores.  Or go take a walk or enjoy holiday festivities that might be going on around you.

Only a Frenchman would know this… but it is ever so useful for those tight situations.